STURGEON’S LAW PREVAILS

My father recently introduced me to Sturgeon's Law. Basically it means that 90% of the time things are crap; similar to Murphy’s Law, or Sod’s Law as it is known in England. Recent weeks demonstrate this law very well.

I haven’t had the internet reliably working for over 2 weeks now. My provider, Telewest says it is their fault and compensation will appear on the next bill. The bill has arrived. There was no compensation.

This is not surprising as this company charged us £57 or $120 for phone calls we apparently made during September when we didn’t have a phone line in house. They refuse to refund the money.

I solved the mystery of the stain on the kitchen ceiling. It’s mould. Previously painted over, it is now showing and growing as the plumbing upstairs appears to be leaking in the vicinity of the toilet.

I normally e-mail but my internet isn’t working so I walked around the corner to tell my landlord. I briefly explained the problem and was told “We aren’t your landlords any more. I’ll give you the number of the man you need to call”. The next day I managed to contact the man who lives hours outside of London. He told me the reverse. It’s not his responsibility, it's theirs.

Ok so I will deal with the leaking plumbing later. Then again is it the plumbing at all? A housemate’s mate seems to spend a lot of time in my toilet (room the size of a washroom stall). He always leaves a puddle covering the floor; one that I have stepped in in bare feet on countless occasions.

I finally asked him about this. He told me it was just water. I had to mop it up to get to the toilet without sopping wet feet. What does he do in there? There is only a toilet in the room. Does he splash around in it?

At least I have water right? Our first water bill turned up last week for £779 or $1600 for two months. Fortunately this has been rectified.

I started getting some problems with my teeth last week. The dentist says I’m grinding my teeth; a condition often caused by stress. He’s given me mouth exercises. (If I did all the exercises prescribed for my knees, eyes and mouth that’s an hour a day!)

So I go to make a cup of tea to calm my nerves but....the kettle is broken.

I know this sounds totally negative but in fact I am actually beginning to find this really funny, especially after learning about Sturgeon’s Law.